I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
