So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
