Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
