just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
