I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize