Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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