you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
