Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
