I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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