On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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