wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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