Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
