So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
