every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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