Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize