I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
