ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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