I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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