my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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