so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
