my room smells like sperm. sweet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
