I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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