my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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