do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
