I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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