butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
