Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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