Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
