At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
