so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
