i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
