turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
