god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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