i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
