we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
