just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
