I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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