thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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