So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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