Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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