Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
