I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
