He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
