Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
