I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
