At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
