Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
