the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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