she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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