You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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