yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
