i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
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Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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