nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
