We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
