I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
