you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
