I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I bet he comes in French.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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